In continuing to look at the concept of Advocacy From Within and thinking of it as a coffee table with four legs to support it, let’s take a look at that first leg this week. Focus on releasing societal beliefs of disability, or different abilities, or even a difference in ability.

I could probably write a volume of books about all the societal beliefs around different abilities. Don’t worry, I won’t do that here. The preconceptions, opinions, projections, and misconceptions society has held about people with a difference in ability takes about 75 percent of our energy to deal with, compared to the 25 percent of coping with the actual disability. The extremes that society seems to grab a hold of is that people are either helpless victims to be pitied or courageous heroes who overcome a surmounting challenge. For me, I never want to be viewed as helpless and I truly believe there is no reason to pity me, but also despite my accomplishments in life, I haven’t really “overcome” anything. I will have CP until my last breath; it’s more a question of how well I live with it.

One of the fundamental truths of living well (fully) with a disability is to release yourself of what people (society) may believe about you. This is where the approach of Advocacy From Within comes into play. In some traditional forms of advocacy, there tends to be an element of defending involved. What are we defending? Are we actually defending against negative societal beliefs, such as how a disability may impact on one’s quality of life? If we put any energy into defending against a concept, then there must be a part of ourselves that believes there is some truth to it. When we are really secure in a concept or belief, we feel less of a need to defend it; we have more of a desire to speak the truth about it.

I’ll use an example from my own life. I go to the mall, get out of the car, and walk in. People usually turn their heads as I walk by to check out my pronounced walk. Some people instantly conjure up beliefs about my life being hard, what a struggle it must be to be me, that I must have a debilitating illness, and on and on. While in the mall, I speak to a store employee about a purchase. Someone hears my speech and presumes because it is accented by my cerebral palsy, I am probably not that smart and some people may even feel it is too hard to listen to me. I know not everyone thinks like this and I believe the amount of people who do think this way is always shrinking. Nevertheless, these are some societal beliefs I know are out there about me. If I focus on trying to defend against every belief about me out there that would take my attention away from how I want to define myself – as a strong, capable, friendly person. Besides that, it would take me that much longer to get the item I came in the mall for!

To be released means to ultimately be set free from. To be liberated. To not be living under the weight of something. To have the freedom to live according to your fate, which also implies living with your unique abilities. Many people do not feel free; they feel weighted down because they are living according to what others think about for them. We all have had these false beliefs or myths which attempt to define who we are, whether it be about our body, socioeconomic status, where we live, what race we are, or what we have endured in life. True release ultimately involves releasing these beliefs and myths and replacing them with healthier and more empowered definitions of ourselves. We’ll get to these healthier, more empowered definitions next week.

March has stormed out of the Northeast like a lion, putting the icing on the cake of a harsh, snowy winter here.  Winter’s last hurrah  left me needing to cancel a speaking engagement today in Worcester, MA at the Northeast TASH conference.  TASH is a national organization committed to promoting the full inclusion and participation of children and adults with significant disabilities in the community.  To learn more about TASH, vist the TASH website.

I was going to present a new workshop today, Advocacy from Within: Releasing the Myth of Disability.  The concept for the workshop came from years of going to various conferences and hearing presentations on advocacy issues for the rights of people with disabilities.  At the risk of offending advocacy groups, I have to admit I often walked away from such presentations feeling empty.  Naturally, we need to advocate for our rights and privileges.  After all, our improved lives and services have been made possible largely due to advocacy efforts.

What left me feeling empty was this very subtle message I inferred that advocacy was something  one changed outside of himself, rather than from within.  It made me reflect on my experiences of advocating in my life – going to a “regular” school, gaining social acceptance from my peers, being treated as an equal in the workplace, and even with my family, advocating that I could own a house as a single woman.  The times when I was most effective and  felt the other person really understood that my disability did not preclude my ability to fully participate in life was because I evolved into what I was advocating for.

Let me explain. Let’s take gaining social acceptance from peers.  Like all young children, I wanted to be liked by my peers.  Having a visible difference as a child can certainly add a challenge to other children feeling free to engage with you.  For a  while in my childhood, I was angry about this.  I came from the perspective of “My disability doesn’t matter, you should like me anyway.”  Yes, this is true.  When we are advocating for anything, our disability should not matter.  But  my thinking was wrong.  I was focused on the actions of others and what they should and should not do, rather than looking at what was in me that could give me what I was looking for.  Once I looked within, recognized the qualities in me which made me likable, and brought those forth, I found the social acceptance I had been looking for.

Now, I am not at all suggesting that we encounter an unfair employer or a need for an environmental accommodation, we close our eyes and just look within.  Sometimes we need to take concrete efforts to change stagnant systems.  What I am suggesting is that it can be helpful to think about why we want the change and what we have to offer when the change happens.  Over the next few weeks I will be breaking down the three components to Advocacy From Within, as I would have presented them at the conference.  Here’s a sneak preview:

• Focus on releasing societal beliefs of dis-ability – or different abilities.
• Feel more empowered in the community for what you have to offer.
• Develop a personal – and confident – approach toward living with a difference in ability.

As always, I would love to hear any comments, ideas, and reactions.